Saturday, September 13, 2014

He never moves

The other day I was chatting with my bishop, expressing how I feel more inadequate, and distant from my savior than I have ever felt in my life. He asked me the question "do you have the spirit of The Lord in your life?" I instantly answered YES! I was almost shocked to even consider that His spirit wouldn't be in my life. 

While my life is nowhere near where I want it to be, and I feel that The Lord is leaving me to my own devices when it  comes to revelation for myself, he has not left. I am distant because I am bitter and frustrated. I'm almost mad at the current mess I find myself in, with no clear solution or respite, but still, he has not left! 

Daily, I find myself blessed by small and simple things that let me know he loves me. People around, who realize that I am just doing my best, blessing me with love. Small acts of service that make me recognize he is aware of my needs, and amazing beauties all around me. 

I guess bottomline, I'm not completely happy right now, but only I can close the gap that I have created between me and my savior. He still loves me deeply, even though things are not where I want them to be, and I am not who I want me to be. Regardless, I am blessed. 

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